


Mirrors Ch.7 - Storm

by imnotevil13



Series: Mirrors [8]
Category: Top Gear (UK) RPF
Genre: Air Forces, F/M, Friendship, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Romance, Songfic, Traumatic Main Character, Vineyard
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-14
Updated: 2014-11-14
Packaged: 2018-02-25 08:21:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,585
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2614928
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/imnotevil13/pseuds/imnotevil13
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I know you didn’t bring me out here to drown<br/>So why am I ten feet under and upside down?<br/>[Lifehouse – Storm]</p>
            </blockquote>





	Mirrors Ch.7 - Storm

**Author's Note:**

> Translated to 中文 by [UshioK](http://archiveofourown.org/users/ushioK) on [here](http://blog.udn.com/STtoME/43805921).

Waiting was something that Richard hate, especially in uncertain condition like this: when he didn’t know when the person that he was waiting for would arrived. But for this time, he tried to be patient. Though it almost the end of the day he still sat stubornly in front of that door. Hugging his legs as he drew his knees up toward his chest, kept him warm as the day fell into the darkness.

It wasn’t the first time Richard spent his day just sat in front of James’ door, waiting the owner like a lost puppy. Last time he did, he gave up. Went home after his watch told him it’s already too late for a visit. But today he chose to came inside with a spare key after his second thought. Spent the night sleeping on the couch, hoping that migh be when James went home he would wake him up and Richard could tell him everything he want to said. 

But he found nothing in the next morning. 

No James, no one waking him up. He still on that position when he opened his brown eyes, scanning the room trying to get an evidence of James’ presence. Still, he found nothing. 

And after a sigh, he decide to went home. Didn’t had an idea that the owner of that small white house had already miles away from the hometown. 

**

_“Hi, it’s me Jeremy, leave a message so I could call you later.”_

Another beep and he swore. Richard burried his head deep as he groaned, almost trew away his only mobile when he failed to contact Jeremy. Francie said that the old man had gone for a medical job, far away from London. He was about to redial Jeremy’s number when a knock interupted him. 

“Excuse me,” it was Mark, with a hand full of paper, “It’s the report you asked me yesterday, still not complete yet but thanksfully..., sir? Are you okay?” his eyebrow twithced when Richard groaned then mumbled about something, made him sighed then sat across the table, “Is it about him?” 

A pause, “Do you know where he is?” 

“Sadly no, Mr.Clarkson?” 

“I can’t contact –“ his setences had been interupted by his vibrated mobile, and as soon as he found out the caller ID, his body tensed. “Jeremy.” 

_“Hammond, hi. I’m sorry about your message.”_

“Leave it. Do you know where –“

 _“I’m sorry mate but I can’t talk to you any longer – busy days, but you can met me this Thursday. My house. Bye.”_

The room suddenly went silent after Jeremy hung up. Leaving Richard who blinked in confused and stared his mobile like a 5 years old. He then turned around to watched Mark and mouthing ‘what the fuck is that?’ but Mark just raised his shoulder. 

And before he could get a shout from the little man, the assistant said, “At least, Mr.Hammond, it proof us that Mr.Clarkson has your answer.” 

# # #

It was Friday morning when Richard drove into the Clarkson’s resident, a day late from their appointment because he had a sudden schedule from Mark. After leaving his 911 on side of the road to walked into the house, he knocked twice and got a direct answer from Francie. 

“Oh dear, hello Richard. Looking for Jeremy?” a nod, “Come on in then. Is it about James? ‘cause, jezz, he didn’t even told me that he had gone. God know where he is.” 

“Jeremy?” 

“Yes. He just said that it is all about men’s problem – oh, there he is,” she said pointing at Jeremy who sat on his rocking chair inside their gazebo. “Orange juice? That would feel so refreshing after your long drive.” 

“Yes please. Thank you Francie.” 

“Anytime.” 

As Francie left him alone, Richard half running aproaching the old man who now lay down his newspapper to glance at him, “You promised me.” 

“Promise, what?” 

“Come on Jeremy, don’t –“

“I’m kidding. Please, sit down, don’t be such a rush, he’s fine.” 

“Where is he?” 

“Back to his own world.” 

It took a couple of seconds before Richard ralize his meaning, “War? But, why?” 

“Emergency call.” 

“Just that?” he sighed when Jeremy copied his setences as an answer, “Since when did he go?” 

“A couple of days ago. It’s so sudden, he can’t help it.” A paused, “The reason, Richard, that he didn’t told anyone else, especialy you – “

“I know,” he palmed his face, squezzing his temple lightly, “I know his reason. Don’t waste your breath to telling me. You sure that’s his reason? Nothing related to..., well, me?” 

“Related to you? No. As far as I remember, no.” 

They watched at each other for a moment. Richard with his suspiciuos eyes and Jeremy making his innocent face. Thanksfully not long after, Francie had come with a glass of orange liquid. Saving Jeremy from being interogated. 

# # #

Days passed like the time when James was on his duty, except the fact that this time Richard had turn into a worried wife. Or even worse, a fussy teenager. He couldn’t pass a single day without checking his mail or mobile, hoping that one day James would answer his message. 

But after he asked Jeremy, it’s turned out that James did this to him as well. 

“Why is he doing this to us?” 

“Maybe he just need some space.” 

Richard grabbed his beer, mumble about something then gulped it in seconds. 

Though they didn’t make any plan, this two bloke had met in a pub. Both with their own issues. Where Jeremy being tired after his last surgery and Richard..., well, we know what the hell had happened to this little man. 

They talked about everything when suddenly Richard brought James as their topic. Complaining about why James never contact them, about Francie and Lily that began missing them. Then finally, about his own feeling towards the soldier when Jeremy asked him indirectly. 

“Sometimes he’s annoying, old stuff and anything that boring. But I have no idea why people miss him when he’s gone. Do you?” 

“Yeah, me too. He’s a little bit strange, you see.” 

“But you love him,” at this time, though just for a moment, he saw as Richard’s face blushing. But he knew that was not because of his beer. So, to not let Ricard know that he knew about them, Jeremy said, “We love him, everyone love him, even _me_ love him.” 

“I think he actually had a lucky charm but sadly being loomed by his own personality,” he heard Jeremy laugh, “Huh? What do you think?” 

“Well, maybe he had been cursed by a young girl from his past. You know, he had reject thousand girls when we still in coleage.” 

“Ah, girls squeacking want to jumped on his pant, instead they ended swaying their hand on his face.” 

That made Clarkson making hurt face and hissing voice before laughing hard, “Sadly Richard, you never saw him when he’s on class. If I was a girl back then, maybe I would fall in love with him.” 

“Euw.... I don’t know why, but somehow that sound so wrong if it’s you the one who said that.” 

A laugh, “So who do you think that can make it sound right? You?” 

“Wha – what? No, not me. Some girls maybe. Definietely not me.” 

“Oh come on Rich..., what was the first though you had when you saw him wearing that uniform?” 

“Nothing,” he said much too fast, made him couldn’t escape from Jeremy’s well-known smug, “Oh stop making that annoying face, what do you think then?” 

“Awesome, dashing, jaw dropping. He’s so handsome, wasn’t he? Or is it just me then?” 

“It is just you,” a groan from across, “What?” 

“Don’t lie Hamster, I knew you couldn’t tear off your gaze from him back then. You must be falling in love in a second you caught his presence.” 

“Come on Clarkson, stop it. I think we’ve drunk enough for this conversation.” 

“Well, people always denied when they falling in love with someone.” 

“Stop it,” he said and sighed a relief after Jeremy raised both of his hand. Missing the smirk on that old face. 

# # #

Just a couple of weeks after their conversation in that pub, Richard had already sat in front of Jeremy again, who frowned all the time since he came in this Clarkson’s resident. He had cancelled his visit on his vineyard this morning ‘cause last night Jeremy told him that they must made a meeting because of something he want to tell him. An important one. He kept his silent, eyeing his coleage who still lost in his tought not knowing that those frown had made because this old man was confuse choosing a right word to said to him. 

It was until finally Jeremy inhaling sharply and clear his throat saying, “Honestly, I don’t know where I must begin, but.” He lined up his lips, “James phone me last night.” 

Richard’s body tensed a little, “Right. And then?” 

“He told me to gave you this,” Jeremy took out a slice of white papper with James’ handwritting on it. 

“A letter?” 

“It’s just me who know about this, I didn’t told Francie yet so that make you’re the first person who knowing this –”

“Hold on, Jeremy. You said this matter as if as James is going to –“ Richard stopped aburptly, he gulped a second searching for a fine repleacement for _that word_ and ended up with, “Leave us forever.” 

“I know we’re going to out of your comfort zone but please,” he saw the change expression from Richard, “Bear with me, it’s for your own good though.” 

“Fuck my own good! Why do we have to talk about this shit!? James is alright, he’s going to be always fine!” 

“Richard, please stop! Listen to me.” Jeremy inhaling sharply again as he made a glaring contest with his mate. He began to talked after Richard tore off his glare glancing at another way. “We know James’ job and we know his risk. Just, open your eyes, we can’t avoid that fact,” he said when Richard sighed, “And James realise that from the beginning, that’s why he made us this. Read, Hammond.” 

There’s a moment of silent before Richard grabbed that letter and began to read. Jeremy watched his mate moving his brown eyes running along the letter sucking all the meaning of James’ words. He saw that little man’s expression changing from concered into disbelieve and then hurt while he had a hand covering one side of his face. There’s a definite red eyes on there. 

That letter, the one that Richard read, the one that James write, was a kind of last will letter. With James’ handwritting, it says: 

_Dear Jeremy Clarkson and Richard Hammond_

_I don’t know what I must said at first but I thought I would start with: Thanks for being my friend this far. You always be there when I need something so thanks a bunch for your help. Honestly, I like being your friend ‘cause you two are a completely funny people. It is a very, very good life. Even, well, though it’s not that perfect anymore for me._

_Well, straight to the point. You know that I’ve choose to join an army after my parents’ depart. And you must know that being an army is a job full of risk with a big chance of losing life. That’s why I made this letter for the two of you._

_I’m not gonna say that when you read this letter, meaning I’ve died. It’s not a tv drama or another crap movie. I’m still right here. I just want to make sure that if one day I really have leave all of you, I want you to grant this last request._

_It is simple: since I’m the only May left, I don’t have someone who could get my legacy. And because you two are my only family – if you don’t mind – I want to give all of my heritage for the two of you. Half for Clarkson and half for Hammond._

_I know it’s not much, but at least I hope with this request, you could still remembered me and remembered that we’ve been friend._

_Thanks mate, once again I hope you could grant that last request._

_Your friend, James May._

Slowly, Richard put that letter back on the table. He didn’t said anything, just breathing then leant on that chair folded his arms. He glance sideways blank stare, didn’t want to saw Jeremy for a moment and move his palm to wipe away a single tears on his cheek. 

“That’s just a temporary letter. After he showed me that, he made the official one and kept it. Told me to kept this one.” 

“Why you –“ Richard cleared his throat, tried to rid off his shaking tone, “Why you didn’t told me at first?” 

“Because James told me so.” He raised his hand stopping Richard from another protest, “He said, since ‘death’ is a sensitive topic for you, he didn’t want to told you, yet.” Jeremy move his position a little while his eyes still watching his colleague struggling fighting his tears, “Hammond, I fear we are not in the main issues yet, please listen. I want to told you about this because I don’t want everything is to late for you.” He got a single nod, still refuse to made an eye contact, “Last night before he asked me about that letter, he told me that today he will gone for a couple of days or so for an important mission. And the worst part was when he said that he has no idea when he would come back. And he said..., maybe there’s a chance that he would never come back anymore. He even told Jason about this.” 

A frown made when Richard heard that, he glance at Jeremy asking, “His parents’ lawyer?” 

“Yeap. Back then, some days after he showed me this letter, he asked me to accompany him met this man again. Brought me together so Jason could know who I am and trusted me. He was the one who asked me to became James’ personal doctor if something happened to him. We’ve made this contract since that long Rich, I’m sorry for kept this away from you ‘cause I believe James had already thought about all of this before.” 

“It’s okay,” he said half wishpered. “James always a step ahead of me, and he used that miracle to help me,” he watched Jeremy with a weak smile, “I’m so idiot for not noticing that.” 

“He is so kind, and he care about you, a lot.” 

“I ever asked him a question about that before,” he lowered his head, trying to hide his tears, “And his answer was simple.” 

“It’s because he love you.” There’s no response from Richard, but his silent was enough for Jeremy to knew about his unsaid question, “I know about your story mate, you and him.” 

“Is it from Francie?” he mumbled. 

“It is from James himself,” a paused, “I know you always talked about this problem to her, but she kept it from me as a secret.” 

“Thank you.” The atmosphere went heavy as both of them didn’t said anything. But when Jeremy tried to broke it, Richard had raise his head. Eyeing Jeremy with his red-tired-dissappointing-sad eyes and small smile from his trembling lips he said, “What you said when we were in that pub, Jeremy, you were right. I’ve love him this far.” 


End file.
